


With every pound lost

by seojohnny



Category: NCT (Band), SM Rookies
Genre: Eating Disorders, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-05-03
Updated: 2016-05-03
Packaged: 2018-06-06 03:34:19
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 313
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6736417
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/seojohnny/pseuds/seojohnny
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>On black day they eat jjajangmyeon.</p>
            </blockquote>





	With every pound lost

**Author's Note:**

> this drabble is centered around Johnny having an eating disorder so please, if that triggers you or whatever, don't read
> 
> This is the ao3 mirror of my fic. It can also be found on aff & livejournal.

  


On black day they eat jjajangmyeon. Hansol eats his slowly on camera, even if Johnny can tell he wants to scarf it down because Hansol hasn't eaten over a thousand calories since he became a trainee. This bowl of noodles is well over 600 calories alone and they are allowed to eat half before the staff pauses the camera, dumps the rest in the garbage and then the trainees must act like they ate the whole thing. He should think that it must be better than the NCT-U subunit who are surviving on health drinks and protein bars, but Johnny would have, and _**has**_ given up everything for the chance at that life so he can't bring himself to feel sorry for them.

Johnny smiles for the camera, pats his stomach, and starts acting hyper like he's happy and full and when the camera turns off for good, he makes his way to the bathroom and shoves his finger down his throat because the feeling of food sitting in his stomach feels sickening. They all deal with this in different ways - Johnny throws up, Hansol spends any possible moment exercising, and Yuta is lucky enough to have a ridiculously fast metabolism. Yuta keeps pushing him to go to a doctor but Johnny is the hyung and " _these types of things aren't spoken of here_ ". Besides, Johnny has been doing this for nine years and he's only collapsed twice. He's learned how to hide it of course, has forced himself to keep the food down and let himself put on a little bit of weight so that the company's watchful eye passes over his still too-skinny frame. Some time after they focus on another trainee, he starts up again and feels lighter and lighter with every pound shed. To him, every ounce lost feels like he's that much closer to being able to debut.


End file.
